Behold, my sophisticated cutting and pasting and colouring-in using Microsoft Paint. I am like, totally, a trained visual artist. Can't you tell? Two years at TAFE baby, yeah!

Newtonmas is the alternative seasonal shebang for secular scientists like myself. We all know that Lil' Baby Jebus was not really born on December 25th and that the Christians conveniently appropriated a big fat pagan party. "If the heathens are already at it, we'll just switch gods on 'em and they won't even notice," and lo, it was so. That's why Christmas has such a bizarre blend of churchy blah-blah and pagan trees and yule logs and feasting.

ANYWAY. Sir Isaac Newton, inventor of gravity and glass prisms and other cool stuff WAS genuinely born on December 25th. This is fact. Thusly I am celebrating Newtonmas by throwing an apple in the air and watching it fall to the ground to toast the old bloke with the big hair.

I'm probably not going to post anything for a while because, well, I can't be arsed. I plan to spend the next couple of weeks doing some dedicated eating and noodling. I will leave y'all with a splendid anecdote that a collegue told me. She witnessed a child of a yummy-mummy-latte-set type announce the figures in a nativity scene as "The wise men, and that's Joseph, and Mary, and Little Babycino."

Happy Newtonmas. As I wrote in the printed version of the card above, may you observe this occasion with the gravity it deserves.